SOME DO'S AND DON'TS DISCIPLINE

1. during the child's first year, he is absolutely 
dependent. I consider it unwise to put any responsibility 
on him for either his cleanliness or his safety. Babies and 
toddlers are not wilful; they are just eager to explore the 
world. We must help and encourage them in their courageous 
explorations and not frustrate them whenever they go for an 
appealing object. But is up to us to protect them from 
danger.
2. At the beginning of the child's second year, he should 
be taught that certain things must be avoided. He must be 
met with a firm no when he plays near the stove or climbs 
on a table or starts for a sharp knife .However, we must 
prohibit his exploring activities as little as possible. By 
the time the child is three, he is ready to accept a 
definite amount of discipline, as far as his own safety and 
that of other people-- and of some objects-- is concerned.
3. To discover whether you are demanding too much, count 
the number of times a day you and the other adults in the 
household say no, or exert pressure in another manner. If 
there is a continual chorus of Nos, don'ts and so on you 
can be reasonably sure the discipline is too strict. Try to 
find ways to assume more responsibility yourself or to make 
it easier for your child to assume responsibility.
4. Your child does not need to be punished. When a good 
relationship exists between parents and children, most 
difficulties can be resolved without resorting to 
punishments. Watch how a good nursery-school teacher or 
camp counsellor  handles a number of children! the trouble 
is , however, that parents have other things to attend to 
besides their children and a punishment is often a 
shortcut. I realize that you have not all the time in the 
world, and so I will not say you should never punish a 
child. If for example, your firm no does not prevent him 
from reaching for a forbidden, dangerous object, a slap on 
the hand will probably stop him. In my opinion, it will in 
most cases, cause him little more than momentary 
discomfort. punishments are usually two-edged swords, 
frequently causing more harm than good. It is almost 
impossible to find the ideal punishment that will 
accomplish what you want without causing any harm. nagging, 
threatening, or shaming a child can have a very bad effect 
on him. Never punish him for things that are not his fault, 
or for acting like a child instead of an adult. Whatever 
disciplinary measure you take, make it clear that he has 
not lost your love.